Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
