I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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