I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
