think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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