Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
