I will die if light touches me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm at about main and main street
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
