hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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