Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
