i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
They have beer where we have blood.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
