making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i think my cat just said my name.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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