The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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