We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
