I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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