It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
A+ Viking dick
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
