Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize