yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
