Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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