My liver just broke up with me...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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