your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize