Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
