My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
