I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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