marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
