Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
