I skipped work to stalk him.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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