yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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