i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who put my cat in the fridge?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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