Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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