Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
