Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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