my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
