He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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