Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
