Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
