A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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