I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
