Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
