nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
