oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
