the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
