two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so let's talk penis.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize