Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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