They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
