its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
