Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just high enough for therapy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
