If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
