They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
