My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize