I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
