What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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