just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
pray to the hookup gods
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
