tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
