eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I had to cum in my sink.
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