the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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