I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
