Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
