She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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