so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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