Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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