Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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