Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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