dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
