Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
